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Wanted: A day of rest for youth sports

Suburban parents want Sundays to be off-limits for events including practice, so families can have more time together.

By Mary Lynn Smith, Staff Writer

Bill Doherty says it's time to play hardball with youth sports.

Tired of just talking about the hazards of overscheduled kids, the University of Minnesota professor and a group of suburban parents are calling for families in Rosemount, Eagan and Apple Valley to demand that Sundays be off limits for organized sports. No practices. No games. No tournaments.

In a community where hundreds of kids play on dozens of soccer, football, hockey and basketball teams each weekend, there's no one authority that can impose such a ban. So organizers will host a community meeting Tuesday in hopes of empowering parents to band together to slow the frenetic pace of youth sports schedules.

"A vocal minority of super-competitive leaders and parents are making the rules, and a silent majority has followed along fearing they will be ostracized," said Andrea Grazzini Walstrom, who has helped spearhead Balance4Success, a fledgling south metro group that is launching the "Taking Back Sunday" initiative after talking with hundreds of local parents and community leaders about the mounting pressures on kids and families.

At Tuesday's meeting, they will urge parents to demand that sport leagues avoid scheduling games or practices on Sundays.

"We're not trying to change sports, per se,'' Grazzini Walstrom said. "We just want to help parents take back one day a week."

If leagues schedule Sunday activities anyway, she said, parents should make it clear their kids won't be there - and that the youngsters shouldn't be penalized for choosing dinner with Grandma over a faceoff at center ice.

Proponents and skeptics agree that the call to boycott Sunday sports is a bold move that appears to be the first of its kind in the metro area, if not the country. "It's time to get edgier," said Doherty, who has spent the last seven years talking and writing about a "hypercompetetitive adult culture" that has invaded childhood.

At least one Wayzata sports program has said no to the increasing intensity of youth sports. But the norm, Grazzini Walstrom said, has been a growing number of competitive "traveling league teams" that have families shuttling to practices throughout the week and on the road for three-day weekend tournaments.

The result isn't always pretty from where Burnsville pediatrician Tim Anderson sees things. Kids are coming in with chronic headaches and stomachaches, he said. "A lot of them suffer from stress and anxiety and they don't know why. And then we look at their schedules. They have expectations that they have to be on the hockey team, the math team, the debate team," he said.

"The physical [overuse] injuries they receive from playing too much is tragic," he said. "But most of those injuries will heal. The bigger concern is what overscheduling is doing to their minds and the families."

Balance4Success organizers say Doherty's research and hundreds of interviews with local parents, school and church leaders, and public safety officials have convinced them that many parents want to rein in the sports programs but feel helpless.

The "Taking Back Sunday" initiative is designed to give those parents the courage to speak up despite concerns their kids will be benched or be at a competitive disadvantage if they don't keep pace with other families.

"Youth sports organizations haven't budged in any of these communities," Doherty said. "I'm tired of talking. ... There's power in numbers."

Numbers game

But other numbers also have a powerful effect, said some sports boosters.

Increasing demand for scarce time on rinks and fields pushes teams to play at all hours of the day and every day of the week, said J.D. Grace, who has coached his two sons in nearly a half-dozen sports in Apple Valley.

"The boycott is bold. And it's a nice thought," said Grace. But he also predicted it was likely to fall on deaf ears. "The families that want to play at the more competitive traveling-team level could probably care less about the boycott."

At an Eagan High School soccer match last week, many of the kids seemed to agree with Grace.

"The only parents who would sign that would be parents who didn't want their kids to be in sports," said 11th-grader Lucy Mereness, when asked about the boycott pledge.

Kids understand the amount of commitment that's necessary for a sport, added 10th-grader Paige Wisner. "For me, soccer is a way to relieve stress," she said.

But parents Steve and Cheryl Dubbles, watching their Eagan high school daughter on the soccer field, were intrigued by the idea.

They like the time they spend with their kids on the road to games and the time they spend with other parents on the field. But a Sunday free of sports?

"That would be awesome," Cheryl Dubbles said. "It's difficult to find time to go to church. ... And maybe we could even visit Grandma and Grandpa again instead of having them always come to the soccer field."

Brian Hermeso, who helps oversee Apple Valley's traveling club basketball program, understands the call for a sports time-out. "Sometimes the kids do get run down and sometimes you have to make sure they get some rest and do their homework," he said.

But weekend-long tournaments and practice times that squeeze out the dinner hour some nights are just the reality of playing the game, Hermes said. For those who don't want that, Hermes suggests that they don't join the more competitive traveling teams.

More choices

But Frank White, Richfield's Park and Recreation manager, said it shouldn't be an all-or-nothing proposition. He plans to push a plan next summer to have a regular sports-free day during the week.

David Gaither, who heads Wayzata Plymouth Youth Football, said his traveling league, which encompasses seven communities and includes 700 kids ranging from fourth to eighth grades, has long put that philosophy into action.

The league allows only five hours of practice each week. No games or practices on Wednesdays, Sundays or Jewish holidays. No "A" or "B" teams; kids of all playing levels are mixed equally among teams. Every kid plays 50 percent of the time. No playoffs. No championships. No off-season training. No traveling tournaments. Gaither, a former state senator who recently was named chief of staff for Gov. Tim Pawlenty, quickly dismisses the notion that more training, more games, more tournaments and more travel are necessary to turn out competitive athletes. The Wayzata High School football team has made it to the state championship game more than a half-dozen times in the past 20 years with players who honed their skills in the recreation league's relatively laid-back program, he said.

"We're leading by example even if we are just one candle in the darkness," Gaither said.

He called the "Taking Back Sunday" initiative "a no brainer. ... Maybe it's that kind of leadership that people need to stand up and say no."

Mary Lynn Smith is at mlsmith@startribune.com.

Banding Together

Balance4Success, a group of parents and community leaders from Apple Valley, Eagan and Rosemount, is sponsoring a meeting to talk about ways parents can keep youth sports from devouring family time.

• When: 7 to 9 p.m. Tuesday.
• Where: Falcon Ridge Middle School, 12900 Johnny Cake Ridge Rd., Apple Valley
• More information: Go to the group's website at www.balanceforsuccess.org. The site, which will be accessible beginning Tuesday, will describe the group's "Taking Back Sunday" initiative.